Ahhhh, cue the red & pink outfits, lovey dovey language and beautiful flowers popping all over my news feed. <3<3<3
I’m thankful for a day we get to acknowledge those we love in a way that is authentic to ourselves. It sets a fresh reminder for me (and hopefully you) to show I care through intentional words & actions. Key word: intentional. To me, intentional means “I see you,” “I hear you,” and the things I say and do reflect my ability to be present.
I’m feeling reflective this morning. I see the young version of myself who had no intentions other than to be liked by everyone. I liked teenage Emily because she was fun, bubbly and lived in the “why not” world that is still a big piece of present life, but she did so few things intentionally. Or if she did, it was because there was a reward or someone else was doing it so she should too.
I’ll never forget when I was convinced I had rosacea and demanded a dermatologist to fix my skin with Lord knows what sort of chemical-filled cream. I would only see the one popped blood vessel on my nose and focus on that problem (that okay people, you really can’t solve) daily. I couldn’t possibly love my body if I weighed 108 and my “twin” in high school weighed 105. What is happiness if your weight can’t be perfect, right? Pre-iPhone pic below, summer 2008.
Today, I am still learning how to love myself and love others. I’ve consciously let go of unhealthy perfectionist behaviors. I don’t make space for people in my life who don’t fill me up. I exercise almost every day to take care of the one body I have, not because I want to look good in a swimsuit. I indulge in cheesecake without shaming myself. If I have a compliment in my mind, I’ll say it more often than not. My words are said with compassion, playfulness and tact because I know that words can sting.
Today is Valentine’s Day and I am simply reminding myself to continue embracing the me-time, smiling at strangers, picking up coffee for someone who is feeling blue, doing the things I love instead of the “shoulds” that flood my mind, and choosing to love my life. I don’t look in the mirror everyday and love my hair or my legs or myself, but I try to be grateful for legs that help me walk, hair that wasn’t taken by cancer treatment and a body that can create, dream, and work to make the world a little bit better.
How are you feeling this Valentine’s Day morning?